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Poster: Dancinbears Date: Jan 3, 2007 3:21pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: :(

Wow!
first I have to say that I am truly, utterly confused. I have had an unbelieveable work schedule, and after I posted the "look at this" thread, I have been away from the computer. I come back and now I can only imagine what has happened and been said in my absence! since there are once again A LOT of deleted posts, I can only imagine!

If you say something, have the balls to stick with it!

the thread you read with the Deadhead that's been killed and unidentified was something that I posted in honesty and sincerely. Here is the original thread from Deadhook...

http://www.deadhookforums.com/showthread.php?t=7039

Go and read it. I want everyone of you to notice something...while some were confused by this kid's picture being a computer generated one, there were only positive vibes surrounding this. Sorrow and grief. there were no jokes... I'm assuming that's what happened here at LMA, but since I can't read deleted posts, I guess I'll never know for certain.

I looked at that kid's picture, took it for the remote possibility that it could be genuine, and I figured... I know where other deadheads are that might not have seen this, so I posted it. Once again, my bad....

I am trying to remember why I stopped lurking here (hello GentleJones!! Thank you for speaking out!) I lurked for a while...oh yes, that's right... I had found something in my life that was important to me. Something which gave me joy and comfort and friendship, and felt that there were a good many people HERE ON LMA who could really use that in their lives (or so it seemed), and I wanted to share this thing I found. Honest. Sincere.

Seems to me since the minute I got here all that happens FOR ME is that everything I do or everything I say is always taken wrong. or I have to defend it in some way! Or it causes all of you to get into debates, and arguments! I am asking outright to every person reading... WHY???

And forget about me... why do you attack each other so much?? Why do you pick on some people on this forum to no end? Why have person (Dr. Flashback?) after person started to leave and say that they need to go into lurk mode and not post anymore because of how things are on here?? Doesn't that bother ANYONE?? Is it because you get to hind behind your keyboard and delete what you're afarid to own up to saying??

Here's why I'm disappointed... I thought I was making friends here. I thought after these weeks since I've gotten here I noticed people talking more about things in their lives, not just to me but to each other too! having more of a sense of 'community', which was very similar to the scene on tour. Not just saying 'brother' or 'sister', but meaning it too!

I thought HOW COOL is that?!?
I guess I was wrong. :(

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Poster: Earl B. Powell Date: Jan 3, 2007 4:35pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: :(

DB, nevermind the deleted posts, based on what I've read, I believe there is a consensus of folks that think that the post you linked is not credible. You personally didn't get flamed for posting it, it was the message that didn't play. If you're hurt by the insensitivity that it provoked, think about the sick bastards that created it to play on emotions of people like you.

Then, imagine if you will, that you're a link in the chain that spreads this sort of irresponsible kind of urban myth.

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Poster: Cliff Hucker Date: Jan 3, 2007 3:32pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: :(

Cliff does not think you should take the responses to your posting personally. They were directed at the paper mache Deadhead with the dirty pasta for hair who (if he actually existed) made a poor decision.

Everyone seems to be fond of you here at LMA.

Cliff believes the deadhook forum to be "kinder, gentler" place.

Here at LMA you have to be ready to take some shit when you stand behind what you believe...

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Poster: Ssag Date: Jan 3, 2007 4:04pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: :(

I am new to this site and all I am seeing is wierd ass drama lately. Now I am reading we all suck and theres another place better and blah blah blah. So what is it? Do I even bother with this site now? What posistive effect do you think a thread like this is going to have? I dont get this so I am asking what are you driving at. If I am trouble then let me know I dont need to post or bother anyone.

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Poster: Dancinbears Date: Jan 3, 2007 9:20pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: :(

"I am new to this site and all I am seeing is wierd ass drama lately."

This alone tells me just how new you really are, because there has been 'weird ass drama' going on here since 'I' arrived.

Ssag...obviously, you might have had a problem with my post at the top of this thread. Since you are new, some of the things I felt I needed to say might have confused you....

Please feel free to respond to me however you'd like...
but I said those things because I needed to. While we have had our 'Group Hug Grok', and moved on, I would like to post up my e-mail so that you can respond to me, and anything I might post, anytime you'd like...

dancinbears4me@yahoo.com

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Poster: direwolf0701 Date: Jan 3, 2007 9:39pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: :(

dancin'

just like SDH said - "our" deleted threads were only ones bustin on each other - just the two of us - nothing regarding your original post - orchidoctor tried to make me feel bad.... what the fuck was that about... he needs to get a life

you know i wouldn't do anything to offend you - sorry if i came across that way - i don't agree with the missing person post, but that is not your fault - i watch too much tv - that story just has way way way too many holes in it (it is either a hoax or the loves ones have long ago said bye bye).

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Poster: Dancinbears Date: Jan 3, 2007 9:49pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: :(

Dire, I cannot speak for orchidoctor, because I don't know what was said between anyone. so many posts were deleted, so I don't even know what happened really. ??

All I know is I CONSTANTLY feel like I'm constantly the beginning of (I'm quoting Ssag now...) "DRAMA". why is it that this happens that I have to defend what I say? I didn't know it was a hoax! But what gets me really upset is that I would think (by now!) you guys would have read it and known right away that I didn't know it was a hoax! hasn't everybody figured me out by now?? I joke around, but not about something this serious.

I have begun to care about so many of you, on and off the forum, and I guess I become like a 'big sister' and become disappointed in you when I was hoping for more. And then you go and act your same old way and it was me who should have known better.

I guess all I had wanted to say, and ask, was WHY (???) everyone acts the way that they do. If we didn't SO MANY of those lurkers would come and participate. We're missing out on meeting them!! and trust me, there are A LOT!! Look how many people have read this thread alone, but look how many responded...
~dancin'

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Poster: Ssag Date: Jan 3, 2007 10:15pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: :(

I dont think you are a source of drama and not in this case or ever from what I see. Thats for sure. I think it boiled into drama which was sad and then it wouldnt die down which then it started to suck. Then when it sucked I became the loud mouth that I am. Most of the drama to me came from that guy who shamed and shook his finger at some people around here. I just didnt like it and that had nothing to do with you. Everybody screws up, I am a shiny example of foot in mouth disiese but what I dont like it moralists, well intended or not, it wasnt the right thing to do. He basically was shaking his finger at people who were already feeling bad about the whole thing. Okay enough I am done I just want you to know I dont think you are drama :)

BTW I quoted someone else first with the drama thing........hehehe Oh and I am not talking about the good doctor either.

This post was modified by Ssag on 2007-01-04 06:15:39

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Poster: direwolf0701 Date: Jan 3, 2007 10:06pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: :(

"and I guess I become like a 'big sister' and become disappointed in you when I was hoping for more. And then you go and act your same old way and it was me who should have known better."

Sorry to dissappoint you my friend, i guess i am what i am, and am not what you want me to be. I really don't know what to say to that except to say I am sorry Gina.

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Poster: Dancinbears Date: Jan 3, 2007 10:11pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: :(

no, I didn't mean just you Dire, not at all... I meant you as in the 'whole forum'. I thought everybody was making such progress (is that a good word to use) in sharing more about themselves and talking like a 'community'. but then everybody can turn on a dime, and it's that part that I forgot. That's the part I was disappointed in. I just wish it wasn't like that.

You (and max, and Jody and Cush...ok, the list is long, but you get the idea)...YOU are why I keep coming back here. You are the people I said I care about. :)

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Poster: direwolf0701 Date: Jan 3, 2007 10:20pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: :(

hey my friend, everyone can turn on a dime sometimes on here at times. that is because each of us regulars are human, have real emotions, some are hotheads, and some are very opinioniated.

don't take that as a negative my dear friend. This is a great forum where we sometimes have nasty exchanges and heated debates. Yes, it may get out of hand at times, but there are at least a dozen or so of us that are really good people and have really good souls and heart (i think you know which ones of those we are). sometimes our jokes may go over the top and other posters dont know how to take it - i hope you do knowing the exchanges that are occuring.

i know you know the dozen of us or so who are tight here and would never be offensive to you (barring in jest) - you are included in that dozen i hope you know. If things get slippery at times, just roll with it, and things get smoothed out very quickly.

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Poster: cush11 Date: Jan 3, 2007 9:29pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: :(

:) Hello again, did you get in on that Group Hug? If not, I'll extend one personally. It was very spontaneous thanks to SDH! I hope you are well... Jon

I promise, I will come and visit at deadhook...

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Poster: Dancinbears Date: Jan 3, 2007 9:36pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: :(

Cush... I cannot help but smile at you. :)
Thank you. I participated both Grok's...
I vote we do this more often. It does wonders for the spirit.

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Poster: cush11 Date: Jan 3, 2007 9:54pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: :(

Thanks Girl... I was responding earlier but, ooopsssie, wrong click! Grokking is good... We'll do much more!

Love & Light, :) J

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Poster: William Tell Date: Jan 3, 2007 9:43pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: :(

That is so very cool, Dancin.

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Poster: orchiddoctor Date: Jan 4, 2007 12:33pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: :(

Bringing (I hope) this thread to an end, the fact that Dancinbear's :( got 260 reads says a lot about her importance to this board.

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Poster: SDH2O Date: Jan 3, 2007 6:04pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: :(

Please know that in all the posts that were deleted, never was anything directed at you personally. If there had been, the guilty party would still be hearing it from the rest of us. Yes, we (I'm including myself here) kind of took a very well-intentioned post into places maybe we shouldn't have, but it was all in good intention. The anger seemed to come up after the intitial satirical exchanges. I hope that anger has dissapated and we can get on with life here. If anyone has "left" because of this, I can truly say I don't understand their reasoning, but I will respect their choice. DB, again, nothing was ever directed at you and the posts only became personal when some tood offense at our slight sophmoric takes on a serious subject. No one is wrong in this case, we just need to practice a little more tolerance and accept the freedom of speech we enjoy here.
But, as usual, that's just me.

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Poster: deadmax Date: Jan 3, 2007 3:47pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: :(

Yeah, I've just been lurking a lot too - seems a lot of the fun has gone out of the posts. So I just do what someone BOLDED today and if I don't like I don't read.

Too bad too, 'cuz it was pretty fun and entertaining for a while and I thought I was getting to know some people ( cyber-wise of course).

But, the information is still good, so, I lurk.

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Poster: high flow Date: Jan 3, 2007 4:01pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: :(

This too, shall pass. Time, people. Give it time...

I came too late to see the deleted posts as well. So, I am not certain who is angry with whom. BUT I am sure there is a touch of embarassment attached to the memory of this exchange, and so, we'll have to wait for those involved to trickle back in and make-nice over some music and other points of common ground.

I'll be here when that happens. I hope all of you will too.

Don't give up. We're better than that, and I'm not gonna pretend that it could't happen to me...

Those who have left(or claimed lurkdome) the forum for 'personal reasons' give-off the "i'm too good for this" vibe, and I'm not gonna be that guy. I know many of YOU better than that. If we all just give it time, the sea will mellow and the ship will right itself.

Batton Down The Hatches!

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Poster: William Tell Date: Jan 3, 2007 4:38pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: :(

Well said.

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Poster: mickmac Date: Jan 3, 2007 4:14pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: :(

My two cents: My Grandma Sadie once told me never take a person's opinion as a personal attack. I do not see any wrong doing in not believing everything you read. It is sometimes hard to know exactly what a person intends when reading a couple of lines typed on a machine. I have never taken offense to any of the posts I've read(except the bashing of the golden voiced Donna) whether believing them or not.I think we should all stay and say what we mean and mean what we say.Like I said my two cents.

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Poster: Ssag Date: Jan 3, 2007 4:28pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: :(

Absolutely and I said something to that effect in the other thread but this just wont go away. I think this thread is starting it up again and I see no point in it which is what I was saying. BTW I didnt like the Donna slamming either but hey whatever.

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Poster: cosmicharlie Date: Jan 3, 2007 4:32pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: :(

Heck, I don't much like Donna slammin either, she may well on occasion read this forum or have friends that do, but DB, we're mostly a bunch of men here with various habit's (past or present) I'm mostly into Mary & Java, though i have not been able to afford the m-e-l-l-o-w-ness of Mary as of late :(
I've found out that 2 close friends have gone in the last week, tests my faith-and getting to the age where there'll be more dying about me. Also BIG world prob's out there, so things may be a bit "testy" here as a reflection.
Imo, having a lady like DB here is peaceful to me, I only wanted the doc to lighten up on what i thought was no big deal. But he read me as a cosmic-asshole, and left in a snit -well, ok. Please stay, I really don't think it's all a big deal to go down. If any of you out there need some "crop" testing, be sure to send me a sample :)

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Poster: high flow Date: Jan 3, 2007 5:41pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: :(

Cosmic - Chico is still 2.5 hours driving...you let me know....all kinds of experimentation happening here. I'll bee thinking of you w/ my next puff, see if you feel it...

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Poster: Ssag Date: Jan 3, 2007 5:16pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: :(

I see no need to worry about any of this stuff or what you may or may not have done. I wrote that earlier about we need to get off each other backs. But I am getting annoyed when I read this place sucks and blah blah blah. I can only see it as this place sucks because i dont have a background here. But if this place is going to turn into pick up what you need and leave the rest behind then so be it. We just dont need to calling others out then.

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Poster: cush11 Date: Jan 3, 2007 5:57pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: :(

We will survive...

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Poster: Earl B. Powell Date: Jan 3, 2007 6:30pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: :(

...So I'm winging my way back from a Dead show sometime in the 70's and run across this beautiful Krishna lady in some airport. We spent a few minutes together before she attempted to put the sale on me, which I rejected. She immediately flew into hysterics and moaned "What's WRONG with me?"

I replied, "Nothing, you are very personable and nice, but I just don't share your beliefs."

...sometimes it's not the messenger, it's the message.

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Poster: cush11 Date: Jan 3, 2007 6:45pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: :(

Good analogy Earl...

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Poster: wineland Date: Jan 3, 2007 6:04pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: :(

Dancin ~ Stick with us. I think that what was said has been dealt with between the people that were discussing the topic. Wether they were right or wrong they were bantering with each other and not observing the message you were trying to convey. The story you linked to is a sad one whether it be true or not, that is not for me to judge. This is the time to turn the other cheek and move forward. Take a little time off if you need to but I for one have always enjoyed your commentary and notions. Every community has its differences in the individual posters persona's. If we were a homogenous group the talk would be stiffling and boring. This should simply be a lesson to stick to topics and rib and joke when appropriate. I place no blame and think we should move on. My 2 cents.

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Poster: cush11 Date: Jan 3, 2007 6:01pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: :(

Hey Girl,
I just want to let you know that I did see the whole thread whwn I got home last night... I don't think anyone ever doubted your sincerity whatsoever... Don't go away please, ;) J

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Poster: William Tell Date: Jan 3, 2007 3:37pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: :(

Well DB, you should know that concern for you is what this is all about. So, take (great) comfort in that. Seriously. No one would have deleted their posts unless they were worried about the effect it might have on people they care about.

That means you.